Finally...

...there is a moment to relax. To sit down at the desk and type away happily on my blog again. Not with some proposal or details and all that shit which I gotta rush through. Phew...its just relaxing...yeah.

In actual fact, I am suppossed to get my ass moving like right now, so that I can make it back to came before the maggots of Hawk Company start returning to camp. But...Hecks! Gone with it man. I wanna slack. The past weeks hasn't been all that busy, but the pace at which things are going is just hard to catch up with. Back in Kranji, there is always the rushing here and there to meet with timing so that things can be done sui sui (bueatifully) and then when it comes to book out, its always rushing home to bathe and reply mails and wreck my heads at work. Gone are the times in which nights off means going to Lot1 or J8 to relac-relac. Haha.

Guess what, I am currently down with both cough and flu. It started off with a tasty concortion of chocolate bars, M&Ms, animal biscuits and potato chips. My voice was sexy since last night...gosh its almost gone now, after 5 platters of black paper chips at alley bar. And then somehow somehow my nose is running all over the place already. Plus, don't forget the embarassing coughs and sneezes that accompanies the combo of sick feeling. Haiz. It better not be too hot or too rainy tomorrow, if not I guess I will really be Att C for outfield on tuesdays.

Haha, the past week had been very fun really except for a spoiler created for me...hough i have been kindly forgiven, I kinda cannot forgive my own imprudence.Tsk! Yup, been going around with this friendly black accent and gestures. Remember the good old days of JC with nafiur nd kamil around. The taps, the yo biiitch, the whatzup! Haha. And now, it has developed into a form of pratice among the specs of Hawk. See how Pang do the black greeting with johnson. ---no racial offense here!

Damn, my throat is beginning to hurt with the coughs already and my eyes are drooping. So tired. Woke up at 4 today. Gotta wake up at 4 again tomorrow. Gosh!!! I can't wait for Atec stage 1 to be over so I can have the well deserved 2 weeks off. Haha. Thats when shuqi will be back. Think the most I can make out of it is to meet her for a day considering our busy schedule. And also, according to the ever busy miss prit, her competitions should be over by then and she will have more free time. Hope all goes well for the next week. Reference: Backdate blog entries of black hawk down. Every move-out should be treated with respect. You never know what can happen in the armour context.

Great, just great

Since the previous blog entry, I have been....BUSY.
But being busy feels great and fun if you know how to enjoy it. Ok, so much for trying to write a good entry with up to standard english. I will be rushing off for lession in around 10 minutes time so ten minutes is all I have....

It began all well with a Monday morning visit to Sentosa. Somehow, the weather was perfect. Nice sunshine, warm but not hot, well until the later afternoon. The greatest part of it all, haha, guess what. Its been a one year 3 months and 9 days interval since I last saw janice. Yeah!! Felt totally great. And as usual, she is late,but so be it...being late is a ladies job isn't it. Guess I finally learnt to be tolerant with this. She started off with the snort behaviour again...bleah...but soon it was all well and it was great talking with her. Guess she still looks the same, maybe a little prettier haha.

And my week was great till I messed things up with my dear girl in UK again....Haiz...damn me, two out of three conversations with ehr, I mess things up badly. Kaoz, whats wrong with me. Damn it.

Thou shalt be respectful and stay G-rated!!
-promise.

Ok, I am gone.

Whats wrong.....

with the bloody msn network. I can't sign inon my msn 7.0, i can't login to yahoo. what on earth is happening. Basically, the entire internet experience is unfulfilling. So sian... I believe this entry is gonna end up as a long list of laments and complains. Life is simply not beautiful these days. I need something to make me feel that life is beautiful.

Its all so tiring. Guard 2 on Wed, cos for thurs fri sat sun mon. Waoh. All hail Kelvin The Great. If not for the many articles in straits time warning singaporeans that the blog is not a private space for users to freely speak their mind, I believe I will be giving one times bulgar tongue leashing here. Someone just spoilt the entire of my week with trash. Nevermind. I am a gentleman.Gosh and NDP commitments are really a killer. Next week is gonna be even tougher on all of us. Its gonna be like ROC, SIONG!!! It somehow belittles the thinking that outfield is tough. In the face of sky reaching admin work and endless rehearsals over burnt weekends, outfield is a relaxation. I am so so tired, haven't got a good sleep for days. And I actually woke up late today when I told my man I will bring them for Breakfast. Should find an opportunity to apologise to them. Well, if I want them to adhere to my standards of punctuality I ought to be a prime example for them right. Honestly I guess I have been. Simply too tired today. Should really go say sorry to them. And I think RSM briefing is something I should go everyday. I mean, to listen to the things he say. Most people draw connections between RSM and extras and faktup. Yet today, it dawned on me that there is infact alot to learn from him. His speech skills are formidable for one. On top of that, I felt he has the making of a CEO for IBM. Listening to his management tactics today kinda reminded me of The Big Blue I read some time ago. Afterall, you can't deny the fact that he is extremely experienced. I guess there is alot worth learning from him.

~thats NS~

Came home after lunch today and have been at the computer ever since. Spent hell lot of time reading through two proposals. Quite a lot to learn from it as well.Waoh...learning again...learning everywhere. Haha. Reading is tough, responding to email is even tougher. And while I thought I am done done for the day, I suddenly remembered that I got two other projects with Mr Nittin. Wah!!!!Stress Sia. But its also real cool. Yeah yeah! Maybe I should continue to work on it after blogging. Finally. I am making full use of my time. Finally. This two years is not wasted on enjoyment. Finally. My days are productive. Every single moment of it, I find myself learning. The price, my time and effort. Cheers.

~thats ambition~

... ...I can just sit down at a corner and feel sian. And I know thats called willowing in self-pity.Its pathetic. Someone is forever busy. Someone is forever taken and away. Someone just can't stop dwelling in it despite all the work load that should cover things up. Its a broken link. Something is missing. Its all so strange and I can't explain my mind, my actions and my feelings. I can't explain myself. Still, I know all these will come to pass in time to come. Its just a phase in life.

~thats me~

... ...sunshine, sweat, sand, sea, babes, friends... ...

~thats Sentosa on monday~

Before...

I start typing away happily, lets pray that this thing won't hang on me again.

Well, I was talking about movies wasn't I. Now 3-iron doesn't follow the standard blockbuster receipe. Much like Nobody Knows, it involves a simple and shallow storyline, thereby allowing the filmatography to portray the uninterrupted beauty of the movie. Whats unique about 3-iron is that there is almost no conversations throughout the movie. Largely due to the fact that the male lead is a mute and the female lead an emotionally traumatized wife. The seemingly nothingness of the guys action brought meaning to the lady's life. It left me with deep feelings. The untoched originality of the movie is hard to comprehend and articulate. I reaches straight into the realm of emotions. Watch it and you will probably get what I mean.

It was a rather busy day for me. The afternoon was spent largely on reply to contacts. Amazingly, the past week have had me not 1 but 4 clients engaging me to assist them in their business developments. I guess I have overcomed the stage of ambitious excitement since the last time a good friend of mine told me I am full of words and lacking on action. Seriously, this time round I ain't looking forward to the profits involved but rather the opportunity to network with people. So its much similar to massive project works for me. Like what I guess I will be expecting from SMU next year. Despite this, it felt really cool when a business man from a company based in Bombay, India called me on my phone while I was in NJ. The feeling of awe is just great. I wonder what I am headed for.Good luck to me.

Speaking of SMU, I just learnt that Manchi is currently study there. Talking to her today after such a long time brings back the beautiful memories of JC and first 3 months. Remember she is one of the crappy ones, not the typical snorty RGS type. Amazing how she has this cutesy tone and bumpy behaviour which really conceals her age.

And true indeed, I got to relive the JC life for a moment today when I went back to NJ with Reuben and Guojun. Its college day. Thought and felt I was quite old already and the people all around were like kids. Met yuwen. And it was finally time for her to meet Guojun. Haha. Wonder what will come out of this. And of course, I got to see wong's cousin YiFang again. She isn't the chio heart-throb kind of girl to have an instant crush on. There is just something about her thats impressive and admirable. I almost wasted away when she left for the performance. Wanted to ask for her number.She is worth it. Good thing guojun gave it to me reluctantly but I heard he told her not to reply. Hmm.... ....Am I really such a jerk? Maybe I should ask yuwen to keep messaging guojun in return. Haha.

Geezz, I am really getting tired. NDP rehearsal starts next week so I will be much more busy. But it feels great. And today, Janice is back. Have not contacted her as yet, thought I should give her some time to rest least she blast at me for no good reason. Its just her. Wonder if she bought me my southern comfort. Chances are...hmmm....no I guess. She's never been nice to me...tsst...If she did, haha I told Ben I jia kei ta.

So much for a saturday. Good night to Kelvin

I remembered how the previous sunday began with a beautiful morning shower. It revitalised the land and revitalised the tired soul in me. Well it happened again today. Beuatiful it was. But terrible it is. I woke up with an hour to spare before my final theory test. Rushed through my morning routine and stepped out of the house. To my greatest horrow, it was raining madly. Dad was sleeping so it was up to me to get to the driving centre myself. It dawned on me that everytime I have a theory test to take, some hurdles will be there blocking my path. So there I was, trapped under the shelter of a HDB block. The bus stop isn't far away. One final dash through the rain will have me in the bus stop finally if i survive the traffic. I was already wet after a few attempts to beat the rain. So it was all cold for me. It reminded me of one of my earlier entries about victories. No worries were present as I was far too confident I would make it-confidence from the previous episode.

I got there in time. Well infact I was early and so spent some time waiting in cold shivers. The test sort of began rather smoothly but I soon began to feel sick. It wasn't the cold. Rather, its the questions. Seems like what I studied didn't apply. Someone told me the questions will all be from the TYS. Neh. How on earth am I supposed to know if I should drive across an oil patch or route it. Nevermind I guess. Geez, I hope I don't fail again.

Some recap on the week. The true meaning of 41SAR surfaced in light of its visionary spirit. Singapore Allohah Resort. Daily routine involves waking up, breakfast in the canteen if its not time for lunch yet. A game of RISK world domination or two. Dinner. Nights off. Back to chalet for some PS2 action. Play risk again till 5am in the morning. Sleep. And wake up 4pm the next evening. Evening run to tan and boost my stamina. Back to chalet for some PS2 action again. Risk again. And the seemingly unrealistically fun 30 hour cycle of camp life repeats itself. Plus, the chalet is free and comes with free food and daily newspaper. Gosh, am I really serving the army.AHah. Who cares.

I watched a couple of movies on VCD over the week. 3-iron was among the best I watched. I have watched Hotel Rwanda before and it was the eighth time I watch Tears of the Su

Kanni Nah
I wrote with such profound english for the past half an hour and this cock up blog give me this cock up shit. this is all they can recover? What the fuck!I am not gonna type again
Kao

Evolution

Just gotta watch Kingdom of heaven. And realised that its a religious harmony show. Somehow, I think we all agree with it, just that we miss practising them in daily life. Am I right? ANyway. Why be all so serious with a blog. Below is some entertainment for a nice friday night blogging session.

The following is a brief history of time. A chornicle of wars fought.

A few hundred years B.C.
The empire of Greece. The Greeks fought many wars and conquered many land. Their empire expanded towards Africa where the egyptian empire yielded. Objective was to round up the barbarians and make them civilised.

Until a few hundred years AD.
Rise and fall of the spanish and roman empire. They too tried to win over the tribes and establish an empire. While the spanish empire expanded towards asia, the roman empire went towards Africa. War was fought for pure expansionist ideas and to bring upon prosperity and growth to fill the generals' coffers.

Begin the Dark Age.1000++ AD
Fall of the many great empires started off the dark age. Where crusades were led by religious leaders to convert those of a different faith. At that period of time, the gods were sleeping so they left man to kill each other while they try to call upon armargeddon. Somehow, somewhere down the timeline,man decided to stop being stupids and they learnt to fight for wealth instead. Different religions learnt to live together.

Rise of the Powers
1400 to 1900 ++ AD
Man finally understood that the pen is mightier than the sword. So they started conquering land with pen and paper. That was the beginning of the colonial powers. Great countries sent their man to unchartered grounds to colonised new land. With the industrial revolution, guns and cannons and steam engines brought about new warfare techniques. Much employed by the british and the dutch.

Modern Era
With too much land and lack of resources, the world powers came into conflicts in the 2 highly acclaimed world war. They also learnt how to form alliance with people of different race, language and religion. It was a century of warfare over ideologies.With the end of the 2 world wars, the super powers went into a century of quiet peace. Meanwhile, cocksters in some conutries continue to fight over trivial issues such as gene-lines, race, religion and politics. The superpowers learnt to watch and not intervene because its more profitable to sell weaponaries. Watch the countries destroy itself in civil world, move in and install a new regime. That was their new working principal. They also learnt to gang bang small countries by forming coalitions. Super powersare now no longer limited by countries. The true meaning of nation without borders came about with the formation of the EU, G-7, UN, Asean and Nato.

Dawn of the Space Age 2100++AD
With the completion of the human space programme led by NASA, man established settlements in space. However, conflicts arised and war was fought between the nations of earth and the Space federation. This mark the beginning of the Gundam Era.The coalitions of earth finally stopped their trivia conflicts with each other. Now its earthlings vs Space Cowboys.

ET comfirmation 2200++AD
An attack was launched on humans when bugs from an unknown meteor started attacking. The earth alliance and space federation allied to form a strong force of Starship troopers. They started killing bugs. Man have now comfirmed the existence of ET and leart to be united as Terrans.

Attack of the Muriandies and Shivans
It was freespace warfare when Muriandies from a nearby star started attacking us the Terrans. The NTF Neo Terran Front was thus formed to repel the alien invasion. The great was lasted for almost a century. Humans first voyage to a near by star was accomplished by interstella space warps. As the Great war drew near, an unknown species know as the Shivans started attacking both the NTF and the Muriandies. So they learnt to ally and fight their common enemy. In one of the biggest projects ever, the NTS Collosus was built to repel the attack of the shivans. In one of the greatest space battles ever, the worm hole to planet earth collapsed cutting us from our home system.

Intergallatic Age. The star wars.
And hence man drifted further and further away from the stars and reached other galaxies. They colonised stella systems with diplomacy if not brute force and formed The Federation. An opposition branched off due to trade and political conflicts to form the republic. So it now became terrans+humans vs Terran+humans. The legendary Jedi Knights were born. This marked centuries of warfare until...

The Universal Studio
...man achieved time warp technologies and decided to travel back in time as messiahs to forever change history. They went back to the modern age where they gathered some Howitzers, M1A1 Abrams and B2 bombers before going back to the time 0000. They found the technology super useful as a few Abrams was enough to defend a city against hundred of thousands of horsemen and pikemen.

but...

Universal soldier
In the time travel, they actually stumbled into 2 paralled universe. Lifeforms from the 3 universes clash in conflicts forming the NUS (Nexus Univeral Soldier), NTU (Neo terran Universe) and the SMU (Sid Meier's universe). Fearing that the link between the 3 universe may collapse andbring upon instability to the 3 universes, the 3 Alliance agreed to send me and 2 of my clones back to the time 0000 as the second messiah
In the NUS, I was called allah. In the NTU, i was given the name haleluya and in SMU a technical glitched trigger a massive global destruction on earth(yes we used time travel to get back to earth). It was called the second destruction. I came in the form of Adam and fought huma driven robots known as EVAs. Some scientist from the organisation NERV tried to restart everything. Well he suceeded using the power of ADAM and so here we are now.Yeah

Piece of crap. What rubbish. Hey but its true isn't it. That only when man realise that they are under a common threat facing a common enemy, do they learn to cast aside their minute differences and stand together. Well someone said I have a mind of fantasy and imagination. Guess its not that bad afterall.

Fizz me

Fizz Me
1/2 shot cointreau
1 shot cranberry
ice
top with soda water
optional:Add strawberry ice cream

Made that earlier on and marvelled at the beauty of the drink. Its so nice. With a layer of deep pink at the bottom, visible ice cubes spirally stacking on top of each other, efferversence of the soda water topping up to a think layer of pinkish snowy strawberry ice cream. Wah!!! I took a picture of it. But the picture sucks cos my web cam is of rather low resolution. Can someone try making it and then post the picture online for everyone?
Anyway, its a rather girly drink I guess. Made it out of inspiration from something i drank in Bangkok. Yar. Its very lightly alcoholic. You only taste the sweetness of the strawberry and a lettle sour from the cranberry juice. Plus of course, the frangance of orange. Wao. Should make it again with orange sobet. Eh spelling check?

Well, according to plan I should have been drawing today but somehow I ended up watching more tv instead. The day started off with the great beauty of nature. It was a mere shower initially. The symphony of raindrops woke me up a tad. I reached for the window with my lazy arms and slide it open. Too tired to marvel at the beauty of the rain, I return to sleep. But soon as my eyes closed, I could hear the rain building up. In my half awake state of mind, I remember the days in which I would just sit on my table by the window and stare at the endless torrents. Its always a sight to behold, somehow I just love it. I remember how a sudden gust of wind will sprinkle a burst of magical coldness against my face. It just takes everything off and allows the heart to lie stark naked and relaxed in a cool moisturized domain. Then while I was indulging in the beauty of it all, my mom came in and closed all the windows. But soon as she left, I opened it again. Haha. I thought alot. Thought about the people in my life. How I have never appreciated them. How I have missed alot of opportunities with alot of people. But thats the way life is isn't. Things come and go. And its always absence that makes the heart grows fonder.

Somehow my mood is rather light now. Guess its a good thing. Waoh, I just found a shop in IMM that sells alot of Cds. Alot of great movies that I wanna buy. But no money for now. Though its pay day, I had negative savings last month. Spent far too much. Think I ate $200 into my savings. Sob.

Speaking of IMM, I just went to this restaurant call baystreet. Guess when I last visited the place? Heh heh. Memories of a great date that I screwed up badly. Damn stupid then. Haiyo. But even such memories are fun to re-live.

Hmm...what a day. Wonder whats up for me in the week to come. A little stressful....hmm...

???Whats happening

Somehow, the transition between webpages in my comp is the fade right transition as used in Siow Ween's blog. Gosh, its affecting my comp now. Haha. Why, its a nice animation so its ok. Wah seems like ween's laughters are contagious. And laughters makes you forget all the sorrows in your mind.
Was sitting in the back seat on the way back just now. Been a long time since i last sat at the back with my 2 sisters. Guess I really love them. They are my sisters right? And its real nice to talk cock and laugh along with them. All the sighs just seem to erode into wonderful laughters. HAHA.
I spent quite a deal of time talking with `rain the night before. I haven't been talking much with her for good reasons. Well, I still do try to talk with her but its rather difficult these days cos of certain internal conflicts going on within me. But, I know I cannot and will never ignore her. Its just unfair to her anyway. Something about how trying to be a hero is crap. Anyway, its really rather useless coming clean with these things cos it ain't a misunderstanding or what. Nothing can be done about it. Infact, I guess being frank just causes stress. And its pointless. Why would I wanna do that. Knowing her nature, I knew I must never ever tell her certain things. But well, I guess she pushed it and I spilled it all out last night. She is happy now and I just want things to remain the way it is. I don't want anything about me to affect her. It sucks. But still, haiz, I hope she bears certain nonchalence towards me. So that after all that I have said last night, she just treat it as rubbish from me and cast it away and continue her happy life in a world separate from mine. I rather it be a case of "I have had enough from you and can't be bother with you anymore" then all the "sorry...blah blah blah". Haiz...but who knows. Maybe if I continue to stress her with all this stuff, she will soon turn her back to me. Ram. Talking like a kid already. Haiz, still this is just a passing phase of life, will get over it eventually and things will straighten out. Just require endurance. Aiya, who knows what on earth may happen the next time I return to camp. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. Just enjoy life. It ain't all about these shit.
Started off rather early today. Went to sentosa and saw this damn damn damn chio girl. Wah, I guess she is really worth it. Worth going up to her. Even if I kanna slapped its worth it I guess. Gosh!!!! I am mesmerized. Haiz...this kind of things also guo yan yun yan one. Pass eye cloud smoke. See also for a moment's shuang. Later know already get into more trouble. My present state is quite pathetic already. Must avoid all additional problems. The weather was a matter of mood swing today. Its so damn sunny and hot but at a far corner, I could see the dark clouds clustering. Saw wanyun and ah goh (again) haha. Well, seems like I got some anti tanning agents in my blood stream, I don't turn very red despite all the tanning. Well, my skin colour is really very nice now. I hope I will never lose it. PLease!!! Think if i keep moisturising my skin I won't peel. Should try. Yeah yeah. Peng shan man. That girl really damn chio leh. And according to observation she should be JC. Gosh!!!Chio bu....Sometimes I hope this type of chio girls wil just come and try themselves at me. Heh heh. Then no need to put in any effort or do anything. Isn't such a world wonderful.*Mersmerized*
Went pass SMU today and saw that the building is really quite nice. Hmm, looking forward to studying there. Should be nice yeah. Unless of course I go DB then die die must study overseas. Well, then my dream of studying neuroscience will be fulfilled. Or if no money also not bad. Can start working already. Speaking of SMU. I can't wait for Janice to come back. OK partly its because I am praying day in day out she will buy southern comfort for me. But also, I haven't seen her in ages. Later suay suay she come back with my southern comfort then I SOL!!! Then I can neither see her or my comfort!!!! Arrrgggggg!!!! Worst thing is that she is only coming back on the 14th. Following that, will be busy with NDP all the way every weekend. Wah, that girl better be an angel for once and buy me the comfort. All along whatever she said she want, even if she is only joking I will also get for her. Hmm...if she don't....haiz.....sobz.........
And yeah...I just shifted all my liquors into my room in a tiny little corner. With my present range of glasses, it makes a neat and adequate bar. Hmm...I like it.
Just wonder if I will be back next week.... I wanna meet up with janice man. Its been so long, stupid girl always busy. Eh wait a minute, that girl is damn smart....not stupid at all. Hmm, long time no see already will think to think of her a little.... southern comfort................

Blog

I recently read on FHM that if you blog, you are pathetic for a guy. Neh. Under my present situation, this blog space of mine is probably the only way I can leak word on how bad it is. Well except probably Wong and Reuben. Maybe the earlier statement makes one pathetic. Good thing I have great friends around me. Oh and Punkster as well.
Last night, I tossed around in bed from 930 till almost 11 I guess, feeling all terrible.I guess the specs of Hawk have heard me sigh and huff for no reasons. No reason isn't accurate actually. Theres much to it, just that few know and I don't express myself well through words...My misery follows in the footsteps of my memory and my plight paves its path ahead of me. I guess the word 'faktup' isn't a very nice word to use in my blog anymore.Its all rammedup.
Those in camp should know how rammedup my case is. By right, I shouldn't even be at home, happily blogging away. I should be serving the second day of my SOL. Those who don't know, I should have been charged 7 days Stoppage of Leave. I went to look for OC yesterday all ready in my smart 4 ready to take order. Guess what OC tell me : "There is now a complication, the guy from falcon, CO wants to put him in DB. So you are being implicated as well" follow up conversation reveals that I am not being put on charged yet because CO hasn't passed down the verdict, it ranges from going to DB (Detention Barrack) to stripping me of Rank or Appointment. OK fine, what concerns me isn't the book out. Nor is it the tragedy of being put behind bars. What it implicates is my future!!! Be it 1 day or 28 days, its gonna be a black mark that will go down my records. Would I still be able to go to university? 7 days in DB is all it takes to disqualify me from any local Uni. 1 day in DB is all it takes to demerit me from a potential scholarship or the prospect of service the Police Force. Damn I don't mind trying DB 7 or 28 days, I checked it out it isn't that bad really. Its just the ram record thats potentially gonna screw my future. And ramming amazingly, I am still taking it likely. Amazingly, I can still joke about it. WHY!? Cos I seriously don't mind. If going to DB can brainwash me from all thats troubling me. Can make me forget about all the rammed up things in life, I ramming don't mind. Even if it means my future is screwed. Ram my future. I can always go try to serve in the French Foreign Legion. Which infact quite meaningful a chapter in life would make. Ultimately, I don't even think about this whole issue of SOL or DB. Cos its the least of my worry. Why!?? Read on.
I look at my bank account and I feel totally Rammed up as well. Gosh this is just a minor nothing. $318.19. What the. I just feel rammed up.
And this. This that follows is probably the most funny rammed up case I can imagine. And its actually happening in real life. Home. Sometime i rather stay in the cells of the DB, or report to DO every few hours then to come home. SOP, niam niam niam. This is all I get every friday when I step how. What the ram. But todays different. Earlier on, I have told my mother that I won't be coming back this weekend. I came back eventually. And I can't imagine which cock brain can come up with the reason as such

"Your officer not punishing you because he knows it mothers' day (Ram you!), so he let you come home. You know in singapore valentine day or whatever day also not as big as mother day (what the ram!?). You don't believe, ah your punishment will be on vesak day instead (I will be ramming happy to get SOL on vesak day.)"

Is this some kind of ramming joke? This is probably dramatic irony at the extreme.
"Army so what, mother biggest ok (i know u want to be big!)"

~Unbreak my heart~
How many times in a day do I sigh in pain thinking about you? You are not the only one who wish that we can still laugh and talk about everything under the sun. If I could, I would want to forget about all I said before you left. I wanna forget all the feelings i have for you. Because its sucks! The only reason why the only words I say are yaya okok haha its because I am lost for words. How do you expect me to tell you about my sleepless nights when I think of u? About how my heart aches when ever i think of US? About how depressed abt the situation between us? I don't want you to know all this. Thats why I acting the way I am now. Thats why I am lost for words. I can't tell you the truth and I don't wanna avoid you or the situation. It then reduces everything to these.........

Damn...now I understand FHM. Words like this in a guys blog is ramming pathetic!

Fickle Ironies

This is kinda a special blog entry for me cos...eh...lets just say the tempo in my life has changed a little over the past few days. For this entry, I shall break it up into various 'stories' instead of numerous long paragraphs that don't make a connection when put together as in earlier entries.

Take-off
Sunday night was a great one. It always feels good to fly isn't it? Even though its on a plane. Pang and I met up at the airport for a chop chop departure. Guess the two of us look like we were going for special training in Crescendo eh. Haha.Well, two guys of our age travelling alone always seem suspicious. Like CIA agents going through the custom off for some unfamiliar grounds. If only I had a nice long suitcase with me. It will be more fun. As if carrying a piece of dismantle weapon. Well, the real fun thing is that I am travelling on my own for the first time and its amzing to travel on your own money. You feel no restrictions chaining you down, no inner guilt about spending your parents money. Every cent spent is hard earned money. Derived from digging mud slums, washing a muddy vehicle, sweating under your green and black camo, running till you drop across the SOC ground, feeling fed-up with your man's attitude, enduring the tiresome night with drooping eyes. It all came down to this: Fly off in a jet plane. Enjoy the cold beer and wine onboard. Take your clothes off and dive into the cold bed in your hotel room. Spring onto the streets of bangkok at 12pm to shop. Shop and bargain and spend like you never spend before. It all feels great. I felt like NS never existed. Felt like I have ord-ed (ok long way to go). Felt like I am free to do anything I want. Felt like I am on top of the world and can do anything. Felt like...felt like...I can just be happy and relaxed. The first night, and we were already shopping till 2 am when all the night markets closed. Took a break at some street-side cafe and had what was called a flaming sunset at 150 baht. Hey thats dirt cheap for a cocktail you know. The theres the beer and the good night sleep with no buzzing sound by the ear. With no one tapping away on the keyboard playing yahoo games at 3am to disturb your sleep.

~Inner soul paradise~

Fickle Ironies
Bangkok is not just about shop-till-you-drop. Well, its true we shopped till we were rather shag. Legs tired from all the walking; all the perspiration under the kelvin knows what temperature and humidity level; the endless bargaining top slash prices by minimum 30%. Haha. We woke up at around nine and had a damn full international buffet complimentary for the hotel stay. Idea was to skip lunch and spend more time shopping. We covered the major areas for shopping. Bayok, silom MBK etc etc. The thing is time seems to pass so slowly even though we were enjoying. We even had time to go back to the hotel at 5 plus where we slept and recharged for night life. Haha, evening naps for an oversea trip...hmm...kinda unusual. Our rationale was that the trip is about relaxing. Will do anything thats relaxing even if it means sleeping the entire day away. Bought hell lot of things and spent most of the money on the first day. NIght life began and we went to shop again along the street stalls. Interesting thing I saw was that they simply lay a piece of cloth on the ground, display their items and its a shop. A simple trade isn't it. The weather was damn hot even at night and we took every opportunity to stop by 7-11s for the free air-con and buy a drink or two. It then upgraded to hotel hopping. Instead of 7-11s, we stopped by various hotels such as intercontinental just to sit at their lobby and relax. Theres one thing I saw that really breaks off from the relax and play mindset. Beggars line the street. You see them at almost every junction, the stairs of every flyover, outside every major building. Some aparrently have a missing arm or two; some have no legs, some carry in their arm a naked toddler. What really makes this whole issue an irony is that on your right is a burrberry outlet and on your left, someone begging for just a coin. Walk along the street markets and you see people wearing simple t-shirts trying to sell you their stuff for another 10 20 more bahts. Step into the many many shopping centres and you see sales girl in suits and nice makeups selling branded stuff for 10 15 thousand. The line between the rich and the poor is so damn extreme I couldn't understand why.

~poverty is unsolvable~

So easy
It so easy to get laid in bangkok. Infact, its very common to see man in their 50s arm wrapped around a 20 yr old whore. Its just plain obvious these guys are tourist. With wifes at home and childrens our age. Damn. What on earth is wrong with these people. And then there are the freaking transvasites. Gosh. Whats wrong with these 'guys'. I seriously wonder what they are thinking and why the hell tthey are doing all these to their lifes. And for the uninitiated, theres NS in thailand as well. 18 year old guys gotta serve in the army. Pang the cock thought its compulsary for them to serve as monk. Haha. Back to the topic. Why then are there so many transvasites and gays. I think the gays who work at the pubs are simply saving up to go for a sex change job. Oh my....puke. And they tug and pull you. Damn, thats grose. I formulated a theory to explain why. The more gu niang guys are those who are damn afriad of serving the army. Plus, in thaliand females have an obvious advantage in making money. PLus the poverty situation, these gu niang guys first become gays to save up for sex change. After which, they go work in places like Queens Castle III. Guys guys. Those of you serving NS now, esp the more gu niang ones, thank the Govt. of The Republic of Singapore for putting you through NS if not DB even if you are comfirm gay. If not, gosh, you will probably end up eh....$40. By the way, don't even think about selling yourself to Thailand. The rate there is lower. 499baht(S$20) for a job; 999 baht takeaway ie to your client's hotel.Bo Hua. Interesting thing I saw is that there are different ways to sell yourself. You can either be a puke fuck whore, fish or pole dancer. Below is an analytical breakdown of the different ways.
The whores just sit pretty outside their clubs(some really quite chio) and a pimp will help you with the la1 ka4. They show you the rate and do all the advertising.
For the fishes, I believe you just sit in a fish tank and wait for some filthy old man to call for your number.
For the pole dancers, you dance in luminous bikinis on a stage in groups of about 10. You too have a number. When new guests come, someone will designate them with a laser pointer. A waitress, usually old, fat and ugly will come to you and ask if you want drinks and girls. You can call for their number at anytime and they will come sit with you. All these are reflected in the receipt. You can also takeaway for the night.
Oh please. For all the dirty old desperate bastards reading this, think thrice. For all you know, once the panties off, you see a dick. Gosh, you will fee...f**keeeeddd. Theres just no way to tell if a lady is genuinely a lady. Even if she is really a she, gosh, Kelvin knows which guy of which race from which country with which kinda STD has laid her before. May kelvin bless you.

~Whats wrong with these people~

Drug Lords
Ever watched hollywood drug movies? With typical blacks from africa, central america gathering in some asian country for a deal. So we were in BK drinking. These 2 blacks we sitting opposite us. One was speaking some giberrish languang with great hand actions talking over a handphone. Thats the boss. Beside him is his super sidekick. From my deduction, they are startups. Managed to smuggle a small amount of drugs in and were about to sell it when something cock up. Haha. Wah then there is this talk about more and more balcks gathering around...hmm... for a meeting. So with reference to the above. GUess we look like CIA tracking down some startup drug lords. haha.

~I also wanna sell drugs~

Comeback time
Haha, I bought not just one but two bottles of liquere. Now I have go cointreau and citron. Yeah yeah. Dear janice in europe, please do get me a souther comfort *blink blink*. Haha got a auntie to buy for me. Kao, she went to russia, scandinavia, scotland etc etc. How shuang. I also want. Kao, should have bought the air guns, air shot gun and air M14A1 la. Police never even check me. Wah, I should have just bought 2 more bottles of liquere from thailand duty free and happily walk through the custom la. Kao they never check!!!!

~Wasted~

Feel Sad
Why, why, why all feels so fucked up after I watched a walk to remember. Why why why!!!!! Haiz........I am sad. Heng now I got SOL to help me cover up abit.

~Just sad~

Nobody knows

Was watching the movie for the past hour. Its just so nice. Unlike typical hits that follow a dramatic storyline and feture a cast of highly acclaimed actors and actress, this is a totally different movie. There is no central plot that runs through it and he main characters are kids. There is no drama, no upbeats, just pure story telling that is close to reality it feels warm. Thats what makes it beautiful. 4 innocent kids aged 5 to 12, sharing a commom mom but different dads. They are happy from the start, no painful reminders of their paternal difference. Watching them engage in their daily mundane activities, pursueing their interest, you can sense the love and bond that holds them together as they meet with crisis. The disappearance of their mom. And mom loved all of them. They were, no are one happy family even without a dad. And in this movie, Akira who is only 12 plays a central role in keeping his siblings happy, protecting their innocent view of the world from reality. I don't wanna spoil this movie. Its too good. Watch it and you will feel it right down there in your heart.